everybody sees it`s you ;

so the video for "crawl" by chris brown premiered yesterday and i can honestly say i friggin LOVE it. it made me love the song even more. it featured the GAWGEOUS cassie and chris's son Myles. the video was simplistic and was filled with symbolism that could be interpreted MANY ways... trust me i know O_O 

so here's how i view it. broken down into pieces. the song itself is obviously about redemption. 

the video starts out with him sitting on a bed singing and you can see his heart beating [no pun]. i believe that is symbolic of him wearing his heart on his sleeve like he has been doing like a little pussy ever since his little incedent. basically symbolizing that he still loves her. 

the weather/his cold breath i believe represents the industry/hollywood being very cold. or it could be the world in general. i say the industry at first because they show a quick clip of snow falling on one of those hollywood blvd stars. 

cassie represents rihanna... or any girl/situation that you are trying to over come. through out the video she is popping up everywhere. i think that mirrors his thoughts of her. cassie is ignoring him but she is obviously very well aware of his presents. i think this is showing how you want to forgive yet can't really bring yourself to do so. because as we all know... he fucked up big time. 

cassie following him out the corner store and being all in his face [they should have kissed] basically is her forgiving or flat out giving in. 

him being on top of the building while it was snowing is a form of isolating himself and becoming sort of an outsider just watching over everything and observing. IE blogs, public perception. OR i think it could be him raising above all the BS and the situation at hand and moving forward or higher. 

the dancing... was unncessary... ADHD mu'fucker. and the triple axel ballet spin was the death of me.  

the desert is him being deserted by everyone i believe he is still in the trench coat [tho he is at risk of heat stroke] because he still feels "cold". basically same concept as him sitting on top of the building. 

his son- i mean Myles [the kid at the end] i believe he's kind of calling himself immature in a sence. like i said at the begining, the song is about redemtion. so the "situation" kind of set him back a little. and in order to redeem himself he must start back over at stage one. so he must get back to where he was, which requires growing up. but when you're a child, before you to learn how to walk, you must first learn to crawl... 

 

Miss MileyHopeMontana .... whateva

Ok. So i make it known that i dislike the youngest multi-named Cyrus child. Half the time people look at me like i'm nuts when i say it too. [then got the nerve to say "well you love ciara" o_O two different races & genres babe. don't go there.] Well there is a reason for this. Let's set this straight- no i do not "hate" her.  she has a couple catchy songs (that i feel ashamed of) that i like. and i think she's very pretty. I would never hate on a kid.

I had nothing against the cyrus child at first. her show was corny as all fuck but how did i solve that??? i stopped watching it!!! she was about 12 13 14 or something when she first started out on disney. acceptable. nice little clean cut corny white child... everybody loves those. can't hate that. but then as she got older, shit started happening. an inappropriate photo of her leaked... i was like okay. whatever. she's a teenager. they take pics like that. and she's a celeb so it happens to the best of them. but then it kept happening over and over again. i got the feeling she was doing it on purpose for attention. in the mist of all this.... she still has a job at disney.

hunnee! let that have been raven her contract would have gotten ripped up so faaaast. but you know cyrus is a "cash cow" so she can stay. then the little pic of her giving head leaked and people found all types of excuses too say it wasn't her. once again. if it was anybody else >>>>>

and what did it for me was the teen choice awards. people tried to make excuses AGAIN and say "she was just using it for support cuz she had on heels" chile. save that shit. if she was using it just for support she wouldn't have dropped down and got her eagle on. 

None of the things above would bother me AT ALL if her fan base wasn't a bunch of five year olds. as a child up untill... i say 13. you see, you do. indeed i believe tv shouldn't raise your kids, the parents should be monitoring and blah blah blah. it would be great if parents monitored what their child saw on the internet, tv n such but the fact of the matter is... most don't. children see shit on tv and they do it. people KNOW this. and cyrus being so influential should know better. indeed she's "human"... all celebs are. but once you sign that dotted line... you've signed over all your privacy so you should watch yourself. because tho you are "human" .... you are not a regular person. regular people don't have grammys, regular people aren't breaking box offices, regular people aren't blowing up billboard charts. miley is NOT a regular teenagers. people- CHILDREN are watching her. indeed she obviously brings the most bread to the disney table but that doesn't make it okay to further taint our youth. they fucked up anough as it is. give them atleast ONE good role modle. sheesh O_O "yeah miley is all over the net sucking dick, dating guys that are too old for her, and snapping shots of her half naked.yes thousands of kids all over the world may see this and become influenced... but it's okay because we're rich" 

now if her fans were like 16- grown. i wouldn't even care. because by then... you knw better. like yeah at that age you may still be manipulated by TV but... you know better.  i think cyrus is trying to ween away from her disney channle image by doing stupid shit when seriously all she has to say is "i'm growing up and becoming more mature and i would like to appeal to an older audience". cuz hunnee, this party in the usa video... she  looks grown and she damn near is. she too old to still be holding down this disney mess. they just needa go ahead and let that go. i'd have so much more respect for her if she did. if i see my little sister doing this ...

this

or this

i'll know it wasn't just bad parenting alone. 

shame

shame shame shame shame shame shame shame shame shame 

shame shame shame shame shame

shame shame shame shame 

that's what i feel right now. 

as i stated in previous post, death hurts me. not so much death because that's natural... it's HOW people die that hurt me. especially if it's at the hands of another human being. i'm starting to tear up again just thinking about Derrion Albert. i can't believe i even brought myself to watching that video. i didn't think it was gonna be that, i couldn't even finish it once that boy stopped moving.  

not that this is some sudden epiphany but... i think i seriously hate being black. i'm one that always says, "don't let a few idiots determine who you are" like i used to get irked when people said "black people, we got to do better" because i didn't want to be included it was kinda like "we WHO?" but now it's like... sheesh. i always say "i hate black people" when i read something foolish. but the more foolishness and fuckery that happens that it attached to our race the more i start to mean it. it's built up over the years. i don't want to turn into one of those mixed people that only claims one side but... i feel like i'm being pushed. indeed it's not just the black race who ingage in violence, but black people do it the most... to each other... and it's the most displayed/exposed.

martin luther king should feel more ashamed than i am. this man DIED trynna make us better and.... [shurgs] this is how we honor him? by killing each other. everything he's done doesn't mean shit. AT ALL. besides public segragation, what change has there been???? don't worry i'll wait...

i'm not a violent person. i swear i'm not. believe in fighting much BUT i do believe you SHOULD fight if you are in a position where you need to defend yourself. but all this jumping and stabbing people... seriously?   black people hate each other more than rascist white people do. and that's just fucking sad because it gives them another reason to laugh at us. members of the KKK are some where rolling on the ground. why? because they dont even have to do anything to destroy us anymore... we do it our selves.

the saddest part... is that this will never end. it just won't. you can try to be optomistic but it's just not. there have been too many leaders, too many programs, too many people in this world who are against voilence for years and it hasn't stopped yet. and for that. i am very sad and ashamed. 

nobody deserves to die like that. i don't even think the people that beating that boy to death, the people that watched, or the people who raised those iditos deserve it. 

all i have left to say is

i don't understand.... and i never will. 

i'm so bothered & angry

Future Love - Kristinia DeBarge

i noticed this a while ago that i'm always angry on the inside. 

like, seriously, all the fucking time. i know it's because i hold grudges and i let people get to me and i won't adress it because i'm pretending that i don't care. so i'm just gonna vent for a second. 

i can't lose the weight i want to save my fucking life. doing shit right is taking forever and i do nothing but gain the weight back. i'd hate to go back to that not so healthy method i was trying in middle school, but i have no patience. 

where  the fuck do you get off telling someone they have "too much" confedence? like, for really real ????? there's not such thing until you bring down others just to make yourself feel better, then yeah, you need to calm you ego down. if there a 1,000 pound woman is walking down the street in a bikiniof course i'ma be grossed out but she is probably getting fucked by someone she loves and who she loves back... how did she get that man? her confidence. obviously so who the fuck am i to hate on that. i don't gotta wake up to that every morning so why should i go on and on about it. but if you look like a damn huney combs rat, walking around like you the shit & talking about how everyone else looks bum... you need to do the world a favor and fucking kill yourself. 

there's this guy in my art class and he just got assigned to my homeroom for some ungodly reason, he's so fuckign ignorant. he refers to females as bitches. i can't stand that word unless it's like "it's hot up in this bitch" or "she tried to stab me, she's a physco bitch". so he always tlaking abotu how he fucked this bitch or talking to this bitch blah blah blah. one day he said " i want a bitch that's short, lightskinned with long hair sexy eyes and thick ass body. that's my dream bitch". so i'm sitting there offeded for many reasons. 1. "bitch" 2. the fact that he thinks his ignorant ass can pull such a girl. 3. people seriously still think like that. no, i have no problem with his prefrence, i don't give a damn i don't want this beenie man wanna be. but when you say it ignorantly like that, it really bugs me. i try & say it doesn't bother me, but it does. and the media is no help.  "every girl in the world" is not a "long haired thick redbone". some girls have short hair, medium hear, some girls are "brown bones" O_O [shows you how stupid that term is], and some girls are skinty. indeed people are supposed to have mind of their own & not supposed to let Tv/Radio influce that and yadda yadda. but the reality of it is. 

it does. when you hear and see the same swhit over and over again it starts to set in. when you see the same light skinned girls with no waiste and unbelievably huge asses dance their naked selves around BET all day. it. sets. in. i'm not saying that some people aren't honestly attracted to them but for the most part, it's influenced by TV and ignorance. and you can ususally tell the difference. ignorance = "i only date lightskinned/darkskinned girls/guys" a person with a brain says "I tend to be more attracted to.... there is a big difference honestly. a couple weeks ago i was approached by some mother fucker in the grocery store. we was having small talk for a minute while i was deciding wheather i want ed double stuffed or regualr oreos. [clears throat] anywho. when he was about to leave fucker had the nerve to say "if you was lightskinned i would holla" no fucking lie. and you know what i said... hm?.... HMMM? i told that mutherfucker that even if his eyes were straight, i wouldn't holla back and he walked off. like, what made him think that was okay?thank you rap music & parents for doing such a wonderful job of raising our children, the people who will be reproducing our future. thanks :) i guess this bug me because i've been left for lighter girls so many times. sometimes they weren't even cute but each it their own =/

music is pissing me off lately. black music in particular. people look at me funny when i say i don't listen to the ghetto bullshit that is K97.5... but it's like... wtf is on there. i recently learned of "icecream paint job" and "booty due"?????? for real? when i saw the videos for these failures of music... i damn near wanted to kill myself.  people have still failed to tell me why lil wayne is the "best rapper alive" because honestly all i hear is "pussy bitch nigga fuck" when i listen to his shit & i feel like my IQ is being lowered with every word he says... sings... or "raps". chris brown.... please come back. why isn't teyana taylor like the hottest shit right now? oh yeah, she isn't fucking for tracks or singing/rapping about getting her twat licked. she actually works and writes. how could i forget =o 

my family is just O_O i can't even put the shit into words.

i cannot.

i'm gonna stop relying on other opinions. judging from the previews, i thought tiny & toya, or as i like to call it "Mrs. Piggy & Not Waynes Exwife Show" was horrible. and people around me, besides a few basic hoes, were saying it was bad... yet they kept watching, kept saying how bad it was. i finally watched for myself and it's really not that bad. tiny's voice annoyed the shit outta me at first, now it's just funny. and tiny is not as ghetto as i thought, of course she's ghetto but it's likethe cool down to earth kind not the "i feed my children koolaide and doritos for breakfast" type of ghetto. i couldn't see it before but now i can definity see why T.I. is with her. and toya is just gorgeous. such a pretty girl stuck on such a ugly/sorry excuse for a man. i wanna hug that poor child. smh

tis all until i get pissed off about something else. 

HBCU?????

mmkay. it seems like every time i get to talking about college, someone wants to bring up HBCUs. my favorite line is "i wanna go to ____ because i want the HBCU experience".... okay? and what the fuck is that? i ask people what that means and they don't even know. the few answers that i do get sounds like a bunch of ignorant fuckery to me & the jist of it is "i wanna be around black people". okay. that's fine i guess. your opinion. but if you were accepted to another college that you knew was better, would you choose a HBCU just because it was a HBCU?

hm?

"oh ma, i've been accepted to yale but i'm gonna go to ecu instead. it's a hbcu, there's more black people there!"

just because the majority of the school is a certain race is not gonna make me want to go more or less.but if i wanna get ignorant myself i could always say "i been around black people all my life and i'm tired of them". i can't imagine limiting myself just because of race. i would want variety anyways. plus, minority scholarships are always good. =D do you hear white people saying they want the "HWCU experience"? i bet if they did, black people would automatically call them racist.

now i'm not trynna knock anyone's opinion, i'm really not. i just sincerely don't understand the concept behind "wanting" the hbcu "experience"...

Youz A Jumpoff

Sideline Ho - Monica

If he stops in the middle of ya'll having sex when his phone rings... & he answers it... youz a jumpoff

If he then hops out of bed & tells you to bounce, weather you're finished or not... youz a jumpoff

If you have never even done it in his bed... after multiple times... you just may be a jumpoff

If every time you ask a question & recieve the answer "Don't worry bout it".... youz a jumpoff

If he makes you pay for your own shit at Mickey D's... youz a jumpoff

If he doesn't EVEN take you to some where like Mickey D's... youz a jump off

If you answer his phone & there is another girl on the other end... & she knows your name but you don't know hers... youz a jumpoff

If you never get your nut in... youz a jumpoff

If you haven't met his parents, his siblings, hell if you haven't even met any of his friends... youz a jumpoff

If he has no interest in having conversations with you... youz a jump off

If you hear he's with other girls, then you see it for yourself... youz a jumpoff

If you ask him about it & he doesn't confirm it yet doesn't deny it [with an apethetic attitude]... youz a jumpoff

If he does you with the TV on... youz a jumpoff

If the mu'fucka TOLD you from the begining that he wasn't looking for a relationship but you didn't seem to comprehend... youz a jumpoff

& last but not least:

If he never answers his phone BUT calls you ONLY when he wants to smash, then sweetheart... youz a jumpoff

&& You Can Put The Blame On Me....

one thing i can't stand is when people dismiss other's apologies. i remember when chris first apologized people complained like hell. "Oh God he didn't write that" "That wasnt' sincere" and all other types of bullshit when they were the ones who said he should apologize in the first place.

then people turned around and complained about him not apologizing. nigga, HE DID SAY SORRY. you just didn't accept it. remember? chris shouldn't have to apologize in the first place. mu'fucker, he didn't hit you.

now on to the fuckery that was "Everygirl" performce at the EBT (yes EBT) awards. Ok there was about 4 grown ass men on that stage with them baby girls. WHY only one apologize?

HEW??????

None other than Drake. I heart him. i thought he wasn't gonna say anything considering he's youknowwho's protogshay.

“That…was a terrible idea that I’ll never do to myself again. But I was being pressed from different areas to perform, and I think what really happened at the BET Awards is with the passing of Mike, the climate really changed, as far as the award show goes,” he told Complex. “I don’t think it called for us to perform “Every Girl” and “Always Strapped,” and I think it was an award show filled with tributes and music and these genuine heartfelt speeches. And to sort of climax out of a very tongue-n-cheek point, and then people misconstruing Wayne’s daughters and her friends coming out on stage — it was just timed very poorly and it definitely wasn’t planned like that, but with that being said, it is what is. I believe in Wayne and myself and it’s nothing we can’t bounce back from. To anyone who was offended, my personal apologies, it wasn’t intended to offend anybody.”

but of course. this wasn't good enough. smh

now if he wouldn't have said anything people still would have raised hell and everything benith it. the fact that he maned up realized he was one of the main reason the awards were a fail.

but i accept all apologies.

except people who make redundant mistakes... like EBT

tis all :)

Jia Goes Off

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsR5pD-VO2w

i agree completely.

BET Awards = Disgrace To Humanity

I'm shaking and crying as i type because I'm THAT damn pissed. If MJ was in his grave he'd be kicking and turning in it.

OK. this blog will be all over the place because i can't get my thoughts together.

jamie foxx.... no one gives a shit you're on tour. mmkay? mmkay.

the person who was supposed to be bleeping shit out ? great job. i'm glad that 5 year old children sitting in front of their tvs got to hear wayne rap about his "dope dick". speaking of this grimlin... what the fuck ? i mean really,

WHAT THE FUCK ?

you have lil girls on that stage and you got you and your goons talking about "i wanna fuck every girl in the world" ? let's hope one of your homeboys don't take that too literally and place a lil rkelly magic on one of your daughters.

drake, poor baby. i don't blame him for leaving that bullshiggity.

soulja boy got a record deal beacause ?

ciara was sitting her ass down because? don't get me wrong, wife sounded good (and i heard she broke down afterwards backstage) but this whole "tribute" was done without dancing. Besides Jamie's crackhead ass "moonwalk".

Beyonce had no business performing. she was just over here in NC last night for a concert & flew all the way to LA for the awards. i absolutly forgot about that until i looked at her face; baby looked TIRED. let that woman be great.

this show was so horrible i can't even remember the few good parts. i just know that Jamie & Ne-yo had me in tears at the end. but then i was like "That's it?"

they hyped this shit up SO much. I SWEAR debra's fat ass used MJ's name for ratings. i hope her stupid ass gets fired and i also hope Vitcom swipes this channle as a whole.

and let me not get on the Chris Brown thing
OMG
HOW dare BET deny the Jackson famlie's request to have Brown pay homage? that's so fucking disrespectful i can't even find a word for it. Michael LOVED that boy and Chris loved him back. i'm 100% sure that this is what Daddy would have wanted more than ANYTHING. out of this fucking industry HE is the one that pays him the most respeact. chris dedicates his whole fucking CAREER to that man.... and ya'll pull him out of the roster last minute?

really?

because ya'll were afraid of backlash?

that channle is a hot fucking mess by it self, i can't believe they even pulled that. chris's personal life has absolutly NOTHING to do with his artistry. he is TALENTED despite his faults. i heard JayZ had something to do with him getting pulled but i'ma give him the benifit of the doubt for now even tho the words came from chris's dancer. i hope it was a misunderstanding. but the bottom line is it's BETs fault regaureless. they let him go thru them rehersals and buy that outfit for NUTHAN. when Chris's gets hot again, i hope they don't dare ask him for shit. i know they gon try to ride the tip of his dick when Grafiti drops. and i hope he turns his pretty face and laughs.

but you know. i'm kinda glad he didn't perform at that hotmess of a show. it was so bad he couln't have saved it anyways.

and people try to justifity this FUCKERY excuse for a channle by saying "well he just died thrusday and they threw this together best they could"

NO THE FUCK THEY DIDN'T AND THEY DON'T DESERVE A BREAK. THEY DESERVED EVERY BIT OF BLACKLASH THEY RECIEVE.

and the people that enjoyed it... God bless you. because you're obviously entertained by bullshit and one of the reasons soulja boy is at the top of the charts with his below mediocore lyrics.

but i digress
this was a mess point blank
they should have just waited to get something more organized together. like a whole seprate show. cuz this was beyond sloppy.

but it's all good and dandy because come September i know MTV is gonna shame the FUCK outta BET.

it's killing me that they think they really did the damn thing when all they did was lower their ratings.

disgusting.




BET..... yoou make me wanna bleach my skin and dye my hair blonde. that was so fucking embarrasing.



please excuse my errors and remember that this is being typed in RAGE.

See You Soon Daddy...

one thing (out of the many things) i strongly dislike about people is when they try to jusify a bad situation with another. 3 people have lost their lives this week, one of them being my idol. and you know what people are say ?


"there are worse things in the world happening"
or my favorite
"people die everyday nobody's concerned about them"

now you must remember this blog is coming from a girl who cried when watching 'you got served' (you know what part i'm talking about). death does NOT sit well with me. weather it's someone as close as my mom or some stranger in nebraska. i will be upset. this is why i choose not to watch the news. with that being said. i DARE another person to try and comfort me by saying "well there are worse things going on"

THANKS BXTCH.

thanks a fxcking lot for adding onto my depression. to know that people are suddenly loosing their lives AND korea is trying to blow us up is really heart settling. thanks for your oh so kind words :/

i always called MJ my daddy or refered myself as his "first born" for a reason. and i'll leave it at that





PS i hope ET gets sued for that picture of him all wrapped up in tubes and with the breathing maskon. that was unessicary and they should have gave some type of warning. and i hope the people who made fun of him and threw dirt upon his name feel salty.

joyce, yew got some splainin' ta dew! (side eye)

mmkay. so i've developed this sudden girl crush for one of the 9587489759372987 debarges. the new light bright child by the name of kristinia. i was watching her perform on so you think you can dance and it was like love at first sight, or something creepy of that nature. i've been wondering the meaning behind this for the longest. so today i log onto my stan headquarters (aka the ciara board) and go to a post pertaining to who's opening for the ciara/britney tour. and i'll be damned, it's the kristinia chica. i scroll down to see what the goons are talking about and i suddenly found out why i had an instant love for her. and i'll be damned....





























JOYCE ! WHAT THE HELL ? when are you gonna start claiming your children ? first it was lauren london.


now this. oh no ma'am. love you mam'law but you can't be having me lusting over my sister in-laws. you i swear this is the Al'B Sure effect. joyce baby, gets it together. all you gotta do is sit all four of your kids down and explain that you were a little hot in the ass back in the day. that's all. ain't no need to be keeping secrets from the family -_-

Paramore & No Doubt concert = DOPE

it was definitely top three of the best concerts i've ever been to(first being kanye, second being chris brown).

i was kinda upset because i have like this ritual of taping pads and tampons to my camera and putting them in my little make up bag and going into a security line with a guy. they usually tell me to unzip my little bag, then BAM they're terrified for life and i get to sneak my camera in.
but they snatched all the fun out because all they did was wave a damned wand in my purse -_-

but anywho we got into the arena, (which out door and we had lawn seats) and my mom got us some nachos, a little ass slice of pizza that was 9 bucks, and some water. looking aorund i felt out of place, but i brushed it off and realized that i just had a broader vision of what music is than your average colored person. but anyways. we sat and watched the opening act, i think they were called the "the sounds" they're from sweden. they were cool, i may do some searching and downloading in the future.

so anywho. paramore came on and started with misery business and did other songs like crushcrushcrush, that's what you get (my mom's jam), let the flames beging (MY SHIT!), when it rains, and a few new songs on their next coming album. they ended with decode. it was a wrap, everyone lost their minds.

after about 15 minute intermission. no doubt came on at the arean was a bit more...crowded. there are no words to even describe the show. all i have to say is rihanna should take note because that's how REAL rockstars get down. gwen is amazing and silly. then again she may have been high off of whatever the people behind me were smoking. they were lighting UP could have gotten everybody at the damn venue blazed.

over all it was a fantastic show. i didn't wanna go home <3

`ello world

pop rose - drake ft trey songz


i've decided to transfer here form skyrock. [http://prissyblatina.skyrock.com/] it's cool over there but most of the people speak french.

but anywho, a little about me. i'm a 17 year old female itching to leave the state of north carolina. i've live here since the 5th grade and now i'm headed to 12th. i guess being a military brat has spoiled me because i been ready to move for a while. but i would love to live in new york. there are lots of opportunities but here i don't feel like they have anything to offer. but i am planning on getting a job so i can save up because i know it's hella expensive to live there.

but that is all. i must get ready for the no doubt/paramore concert. i'm so excited !